How your novel begins--the first page, the first paragraph, even the first sentence--is crucial. It's like the hook at the end of your fishing line. Partner, if you don't have a good hook and bait, then ya ain't gonna catch no fish.

In a bit, we'll take a look at my modest attempt for a decent beginning in Zen and the Art of Soccer, but first lets look at two other novel beginnings.

Honestly, most books I pick up, I don't read. And most that I read, I don't finish. I can usually tell by the first page if the writing is good enough, if the characters or plot or subject matter is something I want to invest hours of my time on. Shit, my time is valuable, right? I'm not about to waste it on reading some yarn unless there's really something special in it for me. There better be pearls in 'dem caverns.

What am I talking about? Consider the first line to Harlan Coben's No Second Chance:

When the first bullet hit my chest, I thought of my daughter.

Wow. Coben's stuff always gets me. And I'm not a fan of suspense stories either; it's just how the guy writes. He creates a passion, actually more of a strong empathy, for his main character early on and I'm trapped. I can't NOT read the story because 1) his writing is clever and funny and easy to read, and 2) I feel for his characters early, and 3) I need to know what happens.

I've been reading 'Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. Here's her first paragraph:

Only three people were left under the red and white awning of the grease joint: Grady, me, and the fry cook. Grady and I sat at a battered wooden table, each facing a burger on a dented tin plate. The cook was behind the counter, scraping his griddle with the edge of a spatula. He had turned off the fryer some time ago, but the odor of the grease lingered.

As I'm writing this here Blog I turn to the back cover of this very book about circus life in the 1930s. I see typical overused blurbs like: Compelling...Vivid...Rich...Emotional...Engrossing. I have to admit, in this case the accolades do apply. Folks, Sara Gruen can flat out write. Trust me. I hate to use this word, but the vividness of her writing, not so much the need to know plot-wise what happens, is what pulls me like an ocean tide to read more and more. What this book has in common with Coben's stuff is the empathy Gruen generates with her protagonist, Jacob.

Back in the summer I started plotting out my novel, not detailed plots mind you, but some ideas for beginning scenes, middle scenes, and possible endings. In terms of beginnings, I initially thought of describing one of Cassie's travel games and showing how Pat Holloway, her overzealous stepfather and coach, constantly yelled and threw tirades from the sidelines. I then envisioned scenes of their season ending and her eventually deciding to go against Pat's wishes and try out for Marietta, the local high school team. The school team is coached by Lizzy Randolph, a key character in the story who employs this special 'Zen' style of coaching.

What I realized is that I needed to start my story later, not at travel game, but on the day when Cassie disobeys her stepfather and tries out for Coach Z. In other words, instead of establishing a setting and building up to an early conflict by, say, the 3rd chapter, just start the book out right in the whirlwind of conflict. Here is how the story begins:

I stood, with fifteen other freshman girls in a circle around Coach Z at the Marietta High School soccer field. I was the gazelle with freckles.
 
Coach Lizzy Randolph was a black woman, ebony-skinned, and she too had little freckles on her face and neck. Our frekles kind of bonded us, I thought. She made it clear that friendships mattered most. Grades second. She then said a few words about good sportsmanship. To that point, it sounded like standard coach-speak-crap.

But when she talked about the goals of the high school soccer team, the eyes around the circle fixed on her like she was unveiling a secret treasure. Now she spoke our language. She talked about impact players. Vocal players. Players who moved without the ball. Players who could see the field without looking. And then she talked about opportunity. “If you can show me with your feet that you’re going to help Marietta win soccer games, I don’t care if you are a freshman or not. You will make varsity.”

Her words resonated like an invitation to heaven.

“All right, pair up,” she yelled and the circle broke apart.

Nerves tickled my skin. Not because of the other players. They would be trees, stuck in the mud as I dribbled past. The issue was my stepfather. If Pat Holloway knew I was trying out for Marietta, the guy would have a massive heart attack. You see, I had only come here on a secret promise to a friend in school...

So that's my beginning. What do you think? Do you want to keep reading? Do you feel empathy for Cassie?

A little later in the chapter, the conflict pushes into a higher gear when Pat shows up at the tryout--obviously Cassie gets busted.

With his blue tie waggling in the breeze, Pat Holloway walked to the edge of the field. Other than his geeky notebook, he looked like a stockbroker right off Wall Street. He was tall with wide shoulders. His cinnamon hair sprouted a few random strands that fell down to his hawk-like face. A face that wore a question mark as big as a crescent moon.

He’s gonna freak!

I tried to remain calm. I glanced at Bonnie and the others. “Can you guys hold on a sec?”
I jogged over to Pat, holding my index finger over my lips in a shush sign.

“I’m a little busy here,” I hissed. “Do you mind?”
“Don’t I deserve an explanation?”
“You’ll get one.”
“When?”
“After the tryout.”
“No, no, no…” He gave me his classic smirk, squinting his eyes and waving his finger at me like a windshield wiper. “You can’t do this.”

This should give you a taste of how I'm starting things off. The technical writing term for what I describing is 'The Inciting Incident'. In other words, something needs to happen early to your protagonist, something important and typically devastating that must then be solved with the rest of your book.

In our story, Pat and Cassie, after years of being a great father-daughter duo, split apart. This leads to her entire family splitting apart in the next chapter, and the characters spending the rest of the book seeing if they can work things out. Or not. The problem is that Cassie's natural father, Dead Frank, makes this more than difficult.

Do you still want to keep reading? Until next time then.